Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
