Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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