There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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