Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
