Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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