You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
