After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
