Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
