Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
