Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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