Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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