I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Panties = found
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
