On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
