Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
