I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
