I am puke
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
