dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
