I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
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The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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