apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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