Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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