Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
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He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
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Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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