I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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