bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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