Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
one two three fourrrrnication!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize