I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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