Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
