New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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