When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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