It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
