walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
