matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
