Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
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I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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