So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
