Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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