No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
