plz talk dirty to me
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
