I seem to have left my pride at pride
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
