I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize