i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
