I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Someone signed my nipple.
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