There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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