Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
