you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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