so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
