She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
