You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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