i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
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I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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