But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize