dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
