her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
