does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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