I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
