oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
