i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
