drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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