I seem to have left my pride at pride
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
