Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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