who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
This toilet bowl is my home.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
