I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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