i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
