Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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