I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
