if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
