there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
