Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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