i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
