I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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