My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
