I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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