My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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