wake up i wanna do it froggy style
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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